I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize