I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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