Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
