I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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