I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
