i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
