i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
