Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
