We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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