I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
