I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
