fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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