I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
