I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
