JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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