Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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