Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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