you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize