it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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