capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
