how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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