new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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