I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
