I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
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Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
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This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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