Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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