so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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