wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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