I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That accounts for only three of the penises
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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