I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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