I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
