Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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