Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
