Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
