Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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