I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
