i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
