"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
