Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2

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(248): View more from Michigan

I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore

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(928): View more from Arizona

I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.

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