No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
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My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
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Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.