normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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