Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
