Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
