yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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