the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
