If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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