Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
