Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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