question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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