yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
