Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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