you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
