Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
