Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
