She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I need moral support for this bender
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
