ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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