Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
