Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
