That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
