she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
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I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
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So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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