I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize